Beauty in the Mess

“Uhh, honey? You may not want to go in there,” was my husband’s kind warning to me as I headed toward our home office. I pushed open the door with a wince. As I had feared, the room had been invaded by our two-year-old twins, Nora and Abel. They’d discovered the box where I had neatly filed our family photographs from the past ten years, and had thoroughly un-filed them. Every square inch of carpet in the office was covered in pictures; my formerly organized box now one huge, disorganized collage. Overwhelmed by yet another mess, I sank to the floor.

Working from home with three small children is super easy and nothing ever goes wrong. #oppositeday

I adore my kids. I would not trade them for anything. But sometimes I do feel like trading this stage of life. This season of raising preschoolers – the screaming fits in public places, the endless picking up of messes that will be made again in seconds, the not being able to get a word (or thought) in edgewise, the worries surrounding discipline and diet and sleep patterns and wanting to get it all just right – this season has me fighting hard to find peace in all of the chaos. I find myself grasping for joy and feeling guilty that it doesn’t come more readily. I desperately want to see my glass as half full, but too many days it appears to be half empty and draining fast.

As I sat on the office floor that day, summoning the strength to pick up one more mess, I began to realize what I was surrounded by. Pictures of our family’s sweetest moments were everywhere, all the years now blended together. A picture of Jordan and me at my high school prom slightly overlapped a photo of us holding baby Asher in the hospital. Next to these were several photos of Nora and Abel as tiny babies, sharing a crib. And underneath those were photos of Jordan leading worship in Nepal, and then both of us doing missions work in Africa. Our entire life was in front of me as a beautiful mosaic, and I never would have seen it all at once had my babies not dumped out my meticulously ordered box.

Once again, God reveals beauty in the mess. Once again, I’m reminded that life, my life, is full of joy. Every season has its messes, but there is beauty in every mess. I’ve been trying to see my glass as half full, forgetting that with God, the glass is neither half full nor half empty. It is always overflowing.

Note: This post originally appeared as an article at openbiblemessage.org